(I write this with dark circles under my eyes. After multiple attempts to achieve more, I feel defeated.)
Pablo Picasso once said, "I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it." I’ve recently applied this quote to my life, so that I could learn how to do things, but it increased my risk of failing. I mean, it’s helped. I know how to do more things, but the fear of failure cripples me. I’m an expert at failing. I fail everyday at everything. I fail to maintain strong relationships with my friends. I fail to listen when other people are speaking instead of waiting for the moment I could speak. I fail to tell people, ‘I love you’. I fail to know when to say no. I fail to manage my time wisely. I fail to take the best advice. Ironically , my greatest fear is what I’m best at--failing. My failures, or mistakes, do not define my path, but they do refine my path. Veritable failure does not occur unless you surrender. When you stop trying, you stop succeeding. That’s why when you are a young, people always repeat, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Failing makes you an expert at tasks. Repeating the tasks over and over and figuring out what doesn’t works improves your skill. So, why don’t I like failing? Why doesn’t anyone like failing? Because I have a poor relationship with failure. The Spotlight Effect and social media platforms contribute to feelings of failure. I feel like I’m the only one failing and everyone else has surpassed every level of success. The other day, in a group chat with Code2040, a friend of mine admitted that she was failing a class. She was advised to withdraw from her major by counselors. To my pleasant surprise, members of the group chat relayed anecdotes of their own failures. Some failed the same class multiple times, but they persisted. Though we were all far away, the anecdotes brought us closer. It was powerful. I wasn’t happy my peers were failing or have failed in the past, but it’s always a good reminder to know that: I’m not the only one. Everyone fails, and failing is not the end of the world. It’s always good to own failure. Vulnerability reflects fortitude. One member of the group chat reminded us that a Snap, Inc. employee told us he was consistently on academic probation. Now, he is working at Snap, Inc. From my perspective, failing and repeating the classes strengthened his work ethic and his understanding of scholastic concepts. I’ve decided to embrace failure--to prohibit it from crippling me. I’ll do new things I’ve never done, so I can learn how to do them. Thanks, Pablo. This week, I failed at:
How I will deal with failure:
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